Well... It is what it is

Have you heard Tamra or I say, "It is what it is," lately? Please tell us to stop if you hear it again. This has become our mantra in recent weeks, and I for one am thinking we have worn it out. Any help you can offer with this would be great.

Well, as most of you know we have had to make some tough choices recently. We have had to say goodbye to Alexis and Lamaya a few weeks ago. This has been one of the toughest things we have had to do, and it has really affected each of us in some significant way. After dealing with some very serious challenges with both girls, we had to make a decision that was best for them and us. Their needs are far too great, and although we felt that we could give ultimately give them the love and support they required, it would come at the sacrifice of the 3 boys we still have and that wouldn't be fair to anyone. The decision was not easy. We had been contemplating it for weeks, and were really trying to make things work in any way we could. After much prayer and fasting, the right decision was revealed to us and we both knew what had to happen.

There is a bright side for the girls though. The girls have a half brother, Shiheem, who is being adopted by his 40 year old paternal grandpa. We have been having visits with them twice a month since the girls moved in and have got to know the family pretty well. Tamra called Mr. Buchanon to inform him of our decision, so he wouldn't be caught off guard and he explained that every time the girls had been moved, KVC never informed him. He shared that although he wasn't able to care for them when he first took Shiheem into his home (Shiheem had some serious needs), things were much better now and he has wanted to care for the girls as well. It took a little pushing on our part, but KVC has agreed to pursue a "kin" placement, and is working with Missouri to get the girls placed with their brother and grandpa. It will take a few months, but ultimately the plan will be for him to adopt them as well.

In the meantime the girls are being cared for by a military family that lives on base up in Leavenworth. (no, not the prison) The couple has a daughter away at college, and a 15 year old son at home. The mom and Tamra talk at least a couple of times a week about the girls. They have not taken their time expressing their behaviors. It is good they have someone who can dedicate the majority of her time to them and really help. I think it helps for Tamra to get the updates, and still be kept up to speed on how they are doing. We have even talked about getting together in the future to visit, but I just don't think we're all quite ready for that yet.

Our boys took things pretty rough. Kyler was prepared for it, and undertood why it had to happen. Although he was sad and misses his sisters, he has handled it like a big boy. Ethan was a little more of a challenge and you could tell something was off, and he really wasn't used to having so much alone time after school each day. Even Antwan started going crazy. Waking up in the middle of the night, being clingy to Tamra all day long, and really just fussing most of the day. It's been a few weeks and he too is coming around, but Tamra is ready for the clinginess to end. As is typical, right as this all started my travel schedule began picking up. It hasn't been anything like it was last summer, but Tamra has still been left to handle the majority of it all. Needless to say, we are very thankful for all of your prayers and phone calls, and thank you for your continued support. We are working through things, and know that although it is tough, "It is what it is."

Antwan is finally getting closer to finalization. Yee HAW!! After almost 3 months of not knowing what the heck was going on, it was discovered that the D.A.'s office screwed up some paperwork. That has finally been sorted out, and we will sign our adoption agreement (APA) on March 1st. From there it is expected that the approval will take up to 30 days, and then we can schedule a court date. As soon as we get to court and sign the papers, he will FINALLY be an official and permanent member of the family. The only thing left to do at that point will be to take him to the temple. We are so looking forward to that day, and at this rate it may even be sunny outside by then. :) We can't believe things have been held up for so stinking long, but are just rolling with it because "it is what it is." (See... this statement has over-stayed its welcome I think)

We know all of this has happened for a purpose, and we are truly happy the girls are going to be united with their brother. They love him dearly, and it will really be a good place for them. We had wanted them so badly, and that has made the last few months very difficult, but we know we have made the right decision. Our family has been made stronger, and we have once again been given an opportunity to carry each other's burdens and heartaches, and have been reminded that there is always a bigger plan in place. Our reliance on each other and on Him continues to strengthen each of us.

So... we are finally seeing things settle down around here, and we are hoping to update the blog a little more regularly. I know I have said it before, but we'll try. Spring's anticipated arrival will help with that tremendously. We sort of hibernate through the winter months and really don't do much worth blogging about, but we're looking forward to a fun-filled spring and summer.

It is February, so we have celebrated Tamra's birthday. Please feel free to remind her that she is officially OLD now. She hasn't passed up that opportunity with me for the last 5 years, so turn about is fair play. Kyler turned 8 last week, and will be baptized on the 27th. He is very excited, and very ready for his big day. Ethan will celebrate his birthday Saturday, so we are all looking forward to that. Mom has some big things planned for him. I hope I survive getting them all done.

Good night all.