Holding On ... With All That We Have

It seems that I frequently start out my posts - where do I begin? Well that is really how it is for me. Life has been sooo full it is hard to know how and what to say exactly. Last Monday Aug. 24th we went to court for Antwan's parents regarding termination of rights. The Judge was to make a decision within two days and then we would know... as of today still nothing (we also heard that really the judge can take up to 90 days). So we are still just enjoying Antwan and his new found freedom"walking" and his molar that is coming in :)

Last Friday Aug. 28th I received a call from our new Family Service Coordinator Jenni Neuman letting me know that some information was recently discovered regarding the couple that was chosen in the Best of Interest Staffing for Alexis and Lamya (where they are currently placed) therefore they will be holding another best of interest staffing to bring forward "new knowledge of couple" and re -visit the other two families (us and one other family) making the decision for again permanency / adoption for Alexis and Lamya. When I received this call I immediately started to cry we have felt that these girls have been ours from the very beginning and we have continually been told "no" due to county of which we live etc. I can't help but feel that we really might be getting these little girls...and it scares me to have now put my heart out there once again to potentially have it shattered all over again. Ray and I have decided not to tell the boys what is going on, to prevent their heart breaking again as well. When we go to McDonald's Ethan will still mention how he wishes Mya was there so he can share his left over chicken nuggets with her (as she eats more chicken than he does). Kyler still talks things out regarding why we did not get them originally and he tries to make sense out of it all ... but he can't - we remind him that it is in Heavenly Fathers hands. Currently Ray is very anxious wanting to know if we are getting these precious girls as well as overwhelmed at the thought of having possibly 5 children if Antwan's case also moves in our direction. What can I say other than really life is a roller coaster and we are holding on with all that we have. Please continue to keep us, the girls and all that are involved in your prayers. The Best Of Interest Staffing will take place next week Sept 9th at 9:30am ... we should hopefully know something by lunch time. If we are chosen we could potentially have the girls move in same day or sometime within 1 week of decision.

Thanks to all for your continual support and prayers
Love,
Tam